Day one…

Ummmmm well then…

Life looks wildly different this New Years Day. Last year I’m pretty sure we were chowing down on pizza watching a Marvel movie marathon. This year we are taking up space in the home of an awesome family 900 miles southwest. That’s a pretty huge change. Like major!

There are moments when I stop and seriously question our sanity and every decision made in the last six months. Like the decision to wholeheartedly support my hubby’s pull into full time ministry. My logical mind was screaming “but what about the money?!?” (Insert whiny tears and hair pulling here) The faith driven part of my brain shrugged and said “welp, if that’s what God is telling him, who am I to argue?” I’m pretty sure if anyone could actually hear my thoughts for a day, just one day, they’d wonder if I secretly did drugs. I assure you, I do not. I’m waaaayyyy too much of a control freak for that.

Then there’s the decision to leave behind everything we know and quite literally start over. New town. New state. New house. Well, we are still working on the new house thing. Just so you know, it’s insane to try and sell a house during the holiday season. Lesson learned. For the Duchess, it means new school, new activities, and a new schedule. She literally jumped for joy when I told her school started at eight and she would get to sleep until at least six thirty each morning!

For Jer, the fun begins with a new job. New office. New coworkers. And new responsibilities he can’t wait to tackle. He’s been working toward this for six years. Every Wednesday night in youth, men’s conference, and hour spent volunteering at church has prepared him for this new role. And just like the teenager, he too is jumping for joy at the prospect of more sleep.

For me, not much changes. Sure, I’ll be in a new town, new state, new house (hopefully soon). But, I’ll be doing the same things I already did. Just in a new town, new state, new house. Being temporarily housed by a host family is a strange land to navigate for me. When I’m usually the one preparing and cleaning and doing all the things, there’s someone else doing all the things. I’m feeling a little at odds. Ok a lot at odds.

Here’s the thing. Five years ago, this entire situation would have freaked me out. Like had me hiding in the bathroom, secretly chewing my nails with a smile plastered on my face while having a string of anxiety attacks. Lacking control is not my favorite thing. But, I’ve learned I’m not really ever in control.

You know that Carrie Underwood song Jesus Take the Wheel? Yep, that’s me. I refuse to freak out too much because God’s got me. For a lot of people, the concept of life being guided by an unseen force would be unimaginable. For a while, I was one of them.

When I stopped trying to force life down the path I drew, suddenly things started working out. When I stopped insisting on controlling every single aspect of everything around me, the things I would have worried about took care of themselves. The things I prayed over, rather than worried over, fell into place. That’s God.

So, our house needs to sell. We need to buy a new one. I’m living out of boxes and part of my wardrobe is riding in the back of a Jeep. I have no clue how each day will shape up. And I’m not worried about it. My God is bigger than any worry I can have. And He always delivers.

Day One hike with new friends